One Step at a Time

Have you ever met anyone who ran a marathon?  Maybe you have run one or more yourself.  When I was dating my wife I ran a marathon…training for it allowed me to spend more time with her.  She was training for one and kept putting me of because she had to run, so I asked if I could train with her!

Have you ever met anyone that finished a marathon with a single step?  Neither have I.  It is not possible. (Unless you run the marathon in a wheelchair…but then you can change the step analogy to one revolution of the wheel)  Most things that are long-lasting and make you a better person can’t be accomplished with a single burst of activity or effort.

My experience has been just the opposite.  The greatest accomplishments in my life have taken great effort and required much dedication and sacrifice on my part.  Think about your life.  Is it the same for you?  What was the last major accomplishment you achieved?  Was it easy or hard?  Looking back at something you had to work hard to achieve, was it worth it?  Would you do it again?  Most of us would answer yes.

I was talking with a coworker the other day and we were discussing wanting to get into shape.  They had dusted off an old workout DVD and done the whole workout in one session…without having been very physically active for some time…and was sore for a week!  And guess what, they have not done another workout since that time because they had tried to exert one great effort all at once and had become discouraged when they did not get immediate results.

We discussed the need to start small and be consistent.  We agreed the next best steps would be: 1.  Make up your mind on what you want.  2.  Find an accountability partner.  3.  Start small.  They are going to start small by picking a time to go to the gym at work and walk on the treadmill for 10 minutes.  They will work up from there.  We agreed that it is best to start small, be consistent, and stick with it…even when the going gets tough!  It will help that I plan to ask them each day how it is going…I can be very persistent!!! 🙂

You can do the same.  Think about something you want to change.  Follow the three steps above and begin to change your life now.  You can do it.  The only way to get to where you want to be is to take that first step.  Dare to take it…today!!!

“If you but move even on step in the direction of your truest and best thoughts and actions – the unique individual you really are – you will begin to align yourself with this irresistible power and unlock you God-given capacity for joy and success….Take one step.  Pick up one bread crumb.  Today is not too soon (to change).  It may be long overdue, but it is never too late.” – The Seven Wonders That Will Change Your Life

Everything is Relative

Everything in life is relative.

The other day I was talking with a friend about some of the struggles I am dealing with right now.  I do not have any serious problems, just everyday annoyances that we all have.  As I was complaining I was reminded of some of the struggles others are going through.  One person we discussed has a very sick spouse they are caring for.  Another has an aging parent that requires constant attention yet does not want to resign herself to a nursing home just yet.   Suddenly, the issues I was dealing with did not seem so relevant.  Relative to their problems, my problems seemed insignificant.  It is amazing what a little perspective can do.

Some perspective would be good for anyone that cheered for Notre Dame football this year.  The other day they suffered a terrible loss in the national championship game!  I know it was crushing to the fans because I work with some of them! 🙂  How many other teams were playing in that game?  One.  How many other teams were not in that game?  Hundreds.  How many of those other teams would have given anything to play in the national championship?!?!  They got to the national championship game and got beat by a better team that night.  They lost the game, so what!  Is life over?  No!  They all still have families that love them and futures ahead of them.  The memory of that game pass and in time will be forgotten.

As you find yourself downtrodden because of trials you are experiencing or because of defeats you endure…take time to put all events into perspective.  NOTHING is permanent!  Everything in this life “came to pass”.  Reach out to others that are suffering and you will quickly find a different perspective with which to frame your own struggles…and suddenly your life will not seem so bad! 🙂

Life is awesome!  Live each day to the fullest!

“To live greatly, we must develop the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility. You ask, “How might we achieve these goals?” I answer, “By gaining a true perspective of who we really are!” We are sons and daughters of a living God, in whose image we have been created. Think of that: created in the image of God. We cannot sincerely hold this conviction without experiencing a profound new sense of strength and power.” – Thomas Monson

It Is What It Is – Revisited

Back in May 2012 I posted the message below.  Lately I have been thinking about this same theme so I want to post it again to remind us all that events are what they are.  Our interpretation of the events make them either good or bad.  I have been over reacting to some things lately that are simply out of my control.  I can not control what other people do or how they act.  The only thing I truly own is my reaction to events.  I will be a much happier, better person if I do like my mom taught me and try my hardest to make the best of everything.  Even a kick in the pants is a step in the right direction!!!  You can find something positive in EVERY situation.  Try it today.  When you catch yourself complaining about something being bad, stop, and think of something good about that situation.  I guarantee you will find something.  It may be small, but it is there.  Make this a habit and see how it will change your life for the good!

It Is What It Is!!!

I am sure we have all heard the saying “It is what it is.”  My wife and I say that to each other often when discussing the events that occur in our life.

Life happens.  Events occur.  Whether those events are viewed as positive or negative depends on us.  It depends on our likes, dislikes, biases, etc.  Say I like a certain basketball team and you like a different team.  They both make it to the playoffs and play each other on a certain night.  It ends up that your team beats my team by 1 point.  That is a fact.  The scoreboard showed a final of 93-92 and your team won the game.  Because my team lost I would say that was not a good game and because your team won you would think it was a great game.

As you go through this week, try to look at things without the biases that so often cause us to build up negative emotions about things.  Look at the events as facts, things you can’t change.  Be positive and choose to look at the good in each event, even those that appear to be negative on the surface.  You can’t change what happens, but you can choose how you react to it.  Things are what they are.

“When something happens, the only thing in your power is your attitude toward it; you either accept it or resent it.  It’s not things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance.  They are what they are.”

Spinning Plates, Technology, and The Great Depression

I am sure you are thinking, “What is the world can those three items have in common!?!?”  Let me explain.

Spinning Plates – This past weekend I attended a meeting where the speaker talked about a memory he had of watching the Ed Sullivan show when he was younger.  One particular show featured a performer that could spin a single plate on the top of a pole.  He was able to keep multiple plates spinning at once and just when a plate was slowing down and about to fall, he would run over and keep the plate spinning.  This made me reflect on my life and all the plates I have going between family, church, work, and other pursuits in life.  He asked us to consider if we had the right plates spinning in our own life.  He encouraged us to take any plates down that could be replaced by a more important plate.  I have been evaluating the plates I have spinning and have made a few changes.  Is there a plate you are trying to keep spinning that needs to come down?  Is there something of more value to replace it with?

Technology – Tonight I brought our youngest twins home from gymnastics and we sat down to eat dinner.  The TV was on and I made the announcement that the TV was going off so we could talk as we ate.  I received instant feedback that this was not a popular decision.  We then began to discuss how addicted we are as a family to technology and how distracting it is.  We have an IPAD, laptop, PC, XBOX, and 2 TV’s that get frequent use.  At any given time all 7 of us can be plugged into a different digital device that keeps us from interacting with each other.  In a few short years kids are going to start leaving the house.  I want to make sure I spend time with them before they go.  I plan to turn off technology more often and focus on what matters most, my family.

The Great Depression – I am reading the biography of a very important leader of my church.  This man is still alive and is a wonderful example of how life should be lived.  He was born a couple of years before the start of The Great Depression.  His family lived through it and it taught him many lesson and helped shape the man he is today.  Life was much simpler back then.  He writes of memories of listening to radio programs, raising animals in his backyard, and visiting extended family each Sunday afternoon to share a meal and eat homemade ice cream.  They did not have the distractions we have today.  They did not have so many plates spinning.

From these three seeming unrelated topics I recognize the need to simplify my life and focus on what matters most for me at this time.  The things I must focus on now will not be the same as what I need to focus on in 5  or 10 years from now.  Now is the time to help my children build a solid foundation to give them the best chance to have an enjoyable life.   I need to take down some of the plates I have spinning and replace them with more meaningful plates.  I need to not let technology distract me or my family from what matters most.  I need to simplify life and focus on building relationships with those that will be in my life forever.  Lastly, I need to refocus my efforts to seek God and His inspiration in my life.  He is our Father and knows everything.  He will guide my life and help me make more of it than I would ever do on my own!

Regaining Focus

Recently, through a series of different experiences, I have come to the realization my focus on pursuing my goals has slipped.  I have been on cruise control and have been going through life following the path of least resistance.  Don’t get me wrong, life has been good.  I am happy, healthy, and enjoying life very much.  However, I am not as effective as I could be and more important than that I am not supporting those around me reaching their goals either.

I am especially cognizant of the responsibility I have to help my children learn and grow and set meaningful goals to progress toward their future.  They have 18 short years to learn from me before they can go out into the world.  As I was writing this paragraph, my oldest daughter (14 years old) sat down at the desk across from me and asked if I had a minute to talk.  I was a little put out (in my mind only…I told her of course I had time) because I was trying to finish this post so I could go to bed.

I pushed the laptop to the side and began to listen as she talked to me about something she had been working on for church.  It is a program for young women to help them set and achieve goals as they progress through their teenage years.  She had written a plan in her journal about what she planned to do over the next 5-10 years.  Wow!  How fitting it was that she came to me as I was writing this to share some of her thoughts on her future.  I was able to validate the things she had written and tell her how proud I am of her.  It was a special moment that I am glad I get to have once in a while.

I have a renewed focus and have already begun to work on some tools to help me gain a greater focus on life.  Have you fallen asleep at the wheel?  Are you sleep walking through life?  If so, change your routine a little.  Read a new book.  Talk to someone you trust to get their feedback.  Renew your commitment to set and achieve lofty goals that will help you progress every day.  Life is short and you only get one.  Make the most of each day.  Regain focus and work to improve your life and those around you.

“My vision of what is possible is limited by my knowledge.  Increase my knowledge and I expand my vision of what is possible.  Always thirst for knowledge.” – Clinton Hansen

You lost, get over it!

This past week my kids participated in the annual Bruin mile fun run.  This is an annual event put on by the high school cross-country team where we live.  All of the elementary age kids are allowed to participate and are separated by age groups and gender.  All 3 of my elementary age kids ran this year.  The two in first grade ran in the 1st-4th grade group and the 5th grader ran with the 5th grade group.

The two first graders ran separately with their gender.  My daughter finished the half mile in 4:10 and my son finished in 4:11.  I was amazed how closely they finished from each other!  The way it worked out, my daughter got 8th place and received a medal for her effort, but my son got 30th place and received a ribbon.  The older brother ran a 7:24 and also placed 8th in his age group and received a medal.  This left my first grade boy as the only one in the family that did not win a medal.

He was in tears.  He could not figure out why he did not get a medal  but instead got a “stupid ribbon”!  We explained to him that he ran as good as he could but it was not good enough to get a medal.  After a few minutes of patiently trying to explain this to him and console his crying, my patience ran out.  In my mind I was thinking, “You lost, get over it!”  Instead, the other two began to talk to him about it and my 5th grader even offered to give him the medal he had won.  The 1st grader did not want that!  He wanted his own medal!  Eventually after what seemed like forever, he calmed down and focused his attention on something else.

This caused me to think about how this could be applied to life.  Sometimes, despite my best effort, I don’t win.  For most of us not winning happens more often than winning.  My competitive side hates to admit this, but it is ok to not always win.  (Wow, that hurt to write!)  If my best efforts are not better than everyone else, that is ok.  It was MY best effort.  I realize I can’t be the best in everything or even any one thing.

Focus on what you do well and what you enjoy doing and become better at those things.  Find a niche.  Fill a need.  You have God-given talents that He gave you to help make the world a better place.  There is no one else exactly like you.  There are ways only you can help out.  There are people who can be touched only by the talents you have to share.  Life is not about winning all the time.  Don’t let a loss keep you down.  Both losing and winning are only temporary.  Along the path of life if you happen to lose….get over it…and try again!

“When you win, you don’t examine it very much, except to congratulate yourself. You easily, and wrongly, assume it has something to do with your rare qualities as a person. But winning only measures how hard you’ve worked and how physically talented you are; it doesn’t particularly define you beyond those characteristics.

Losing on the other hand, really does say something about who you are. Among other things it measures are: do you blame others, or do you own the loss? Do you analyze your failure, or just complain about bad luck?

If you’re willing to examine failure, and to look not just at your outward physical performance, but your internal workings, too, losing can be valuable. How you behave in those moments can perhaps be more self-defining than winning could ever be. Sometimes losing shows you for who you really are.” – Lance Armstrong

Crying about losing!

Biffin’ It On a Rip Stick

Last week I gained some inspiration from my 10-year-old son.  In our garage we have a skateboard like device called a rip stick.  They are harder to ride than a skateboard because there is only one wheel on the back and one on the front.  I put a picture below so you can see what it looks like.

Last week he decided it was time for him to learn how to ride it.  After about 10 minutes of trying, he came in and had many new bumps and bruises to show us!  He had a big scrape on his elbow where he had fallen down, he had a bruise on his hip where he had lost his balance and fallen another time, and had a scrape on his knee from a different fall.  I told him he needed to give up before he ended up killing himself!  He told me he was not going to give up until he learned how to ride it…no matter how many times he fell down!

As I thought about it, I saw a great metaphor for life contained in this experience.  How many times do we have something new we want to learn in life so we set out to get it.  As we begin to learn, we fall and get our own bumps, bruises, and scrapes.  Do we give up?  Or do we keep at it until we get what we set out to gain?

I am happy to report that he has stuck with it and can now ride the rip stick without falling off!  In fact, as I am typing this post, he just told me he is going outside to ride it for a little bit.  He now has another skill to use to his advantage!

Is there something new you are trying to learn that you are having a hard time with and want to give up?  What can you do to “get up” again and stick with it until you are successful?  Don’t allow the bumps and bruises life gives you keep you from learning the new skills that will help you get what you want out of life.

The Truck I Do Not Drive

I have always wanted to drive a new 4 door pickup truck.  I don’t necessarily have many reasons to need one, but I have wanted one for many years.

My wife and I got married young (compared to most people) and began to have kids within the first year.  We were blessed with a set of beautiful boy/girl twins on our first try!  I was going to college full-time and working full-time while my wife was working full-time taking care of our two precious babies!  My bottom of the ladder, corporate job paid me $10/hour…when we got raised to $12/hour a year later we thought we were big time…we then made almost $25K/year! 🙂

Needless to say, we could not afford a truck back then, so we drove our paid for car and liked it.  Three years later we were blessed with a singleton the year I graduated from college.  I had nearly doubled my income so we were now able to keep our heads above water, but still we could not see the sense in buying a new truck.  Four years later we were again blessed with a set of boy/girl twins!

Years have passed and we have two paid for cars that run and are perfect for our needs.  Why am I writing about cars and trucks?  As we drive around with the kids, I like to point out the type of truck I want someday.  They often ask me why I don’t just go buy one, since they think we can afford it now.  I tell them they are the truck I do not drive.  I would rather have them than a truck that will rust away with time.  They are more important than any earthly possession I could acquire.  My faith teaches me the family I have can be together for eternity and I firmly believe that.  At this time in life I choose to spend the money I have been blessed with to provide for the needs the family has.  I am putting them first….and I am happy to do it.

I have the best kids in the whole world.  They are all special to me in their own ways.  I appreciate the goodness that is in each of them.  I appreciate the trust God has put in me to be their father here on earth.  I appreciate the responsibility I have to teach them and raise them as He would want.  Kids, I love you more than any worldly possession I could ever buy.  You mean the world to me.  Someday we will “drag main” in my new truck…but until then, you are the truck I do not drive…and that brings me more joy than I could ever express!

As I prepared this post I was reminded of a saying by Anne Campbell:

“You are the trip I did not take, you are the pearls I could not buy,
you are my blue Italian lake, you are my piece of foreign sky.

You are my Honolulu moon, you are the book I did not write,
you are my heart’s unuttered tune, you are a candle in my night.

You are the flower beneath the snow, in my dark sky a bit of blue,
answering disappointment’s blow with “I am happy! I have you!”

Living the Scout Law

I am proud to be an Eagle Scout.  I spent many hours between the age of 11 and 18 working on the rank advancements and merit badges required to achieve this award.  Those experiences helped shape the man I am.

Last week I had the chance to conduct a board of review for two young scouts.  The board of review is the formal meeting a scout has each time he has finished the work for his next rank.  These two boards of review were for the Tenderfoot badge (the first rank).  It was fun to see the nervousness and excitement in their eyes and answers.  During this short discussion, each scout is asked to repeat the Scout oath, law, slogan, and motto.  As I heard each boy recite these by memory, I wondered how much better the world would be if all of us committed to live these principles each day.  As you read them below, take a minute to reflect how you can apply them in your life today to be a better person.

Scout Slogan:  Do a good turn daily  – Take time to serve someone today.  It does not have to be something big…it may be a simple as a smile to someone who needs it.

Scout Motto:  Be prepared – Are you prepared for whatever life might bring today?  Will you be prepared for the opportunities that will come your way?

Scout Oath/Promise:

On my honor I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; To help other people at all times; To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight.

I give my word the I will do my best to honor God and country….obey the scout law…help others…take care of my body, mind, and soul.  Imagine how much better this world would be if we could each strive to do those things each day!

Scout Law:

A scout is:  Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, Reverent.

My word is my bond.  I will stick by my friends or cause to the end…through thick and thin.  I will help others.  I will be friendly to those I interact with each day.  I will use my best manners and respect others.  I will be kind all.  I will be obedient to the laws of the land and the laws of God.  I will be happy…and seek to spread that cheerfulness to others!  I will be smart with my money.  I will be brave in the face of the difficulties in life.  I will be clean in body, mind, and spirit.  I will show reverence toward God.

You can get there from here!

A number of years ago I remember stopping to ask someone for directions. (Don’t worry guys, it was a moment of weakness…it does not happen very often!)  I don’t remember the circumstances or even where I was trying to go, but part of what the person said has stuck with me for all these years.  The first thing they said to me was, “Well, you can’t get there from here.  You have to go to…”  It struck me as odd that I would not be able to get there from where I was.  They told me I had to go back to another location to then begin to follow the directions they were giving.

I have reflected on that advice many times in my life.  The fact is, you can always get to wherever you want to be by starting exactly where you are.  It does not matter if you are a continent away from where you want to be, your journey begins right here.  It may not be a physical location you are looking for.  It may be you want to change the person you are, the relationship you are in, or the profession you currently pursing.  If you want to arrive at a different point in life than you are currently heading, decide to do something different, start right where you are, and take the first step.

My wife is doing such a thing right now.  After 14 years of being a stay at home mom and raising our 5 children until they are in school all day, she is going to college.  She has always dreamed of being in the medical profession.  She is currently studying to be a nurse.  She may go on from there…we will see.  She started where she is (high school graduate mother of 5…and a wonderful wife to me) and has made the first steps to build on that foundation.  I am so proud of her!  Her life will be forever changed because she had the courage to follow her dream.

Remember, you can always get there from here!  As one of my co workers recently told me, “start where you are and do what you can, it will be enough!”